25 Words or Less: Forgetable Reviews, Memorable Movies?

Does it seem like we have a bad attitude this edition? Well - look what we paid for, and tell us if you blame us:

(John Stockwell, 2002) The reason Al Quaeda hates us. Well, screw you Al Quaeda - can your chicks surf?

— Demon

(John Stockwell, 2002) Tries to be 400 Blows but Jo-fo’s no Truffaut. Don’t go.

— Hexagram

(Steven Soderbergh, 2002) Soderbergh returns to his indie roots with unique look at Hollywood’s underlying loathsome self. You also can’t beat the breakdancing Nazis.

— Matison Moon

(Chris Sanders, Dean DeBlois, 2002) You ain’t nothin but a Mars Dog/Be yappin all the time/You ain’t nothin but a Mars Dog/Just another Disney crime!/You’re animation’s crap and you’re a total waste of time!

— Hexagram

(Steven Spielberg, 2002)
KHAKIS OF THE FUTURE!
Mutant bald chick says
Feds want to take your ass out
Where to turn? The Gap!

— Ozma

(Mira Nair, 2002) Colorful, Altmanesque verite-drama about a large Indian family or three preparing for big wedding. Watchable, well-acted, but everyone’s too damn nice to be believable.

— Hexagram

(Mira Nair, 2002) An incredible journey to east meets wests, with stirring performances of famous and unknown actors. The Director’s Commentary is worth an immediate second viewing.

— Matison Moon

(Rob Bowman, 2002) Premise of dragonslayers in burntout futurescape is first rate, but photoplay is beyond B - and that ain’t good: unbelievable, smallfeeling, stupid. McCougnehey looks kindacoolsorta though.

— Demon

(M. Night Shyamalan, 2002) How many loads of alien horseshit does to make a movie about religious faith and other philosophics? 50% Rubbersuit Cheese with 50% Inquiries of Faith.

— Matison Moon

Alien invasion snoozerina. Conceptually interesting, but mired in melodrama and hokey religious mumblings. Shyamalan the next Spielberg, they say. I ask: is that good thing?

— Matison Moon