Movie 666

Roger Ebert yacks about the sled in Citizen Kane.

OK, y’all will want to shoot me, but like I just do not get this movie at all. First of all, it’s black and white which is lame, but all movies used to be B&W because of censorship, OK, but I thought they could colorize them now, like they did with Star Wars (hugely better in color, I hafta say.) Right, so the first thing wrong with this movie: Roger Ebert! He keeps talking over the whole thing! I mean, first of all how old is that guy if he was in Citizen Kane back in 1920 or whatever? Second retarded thing: Chinese subtitles! Or koreanese or whatever, but what, was this thing made in Tokyo? So anyway this movie is totally endless and Roger Ebert keeps telling you where the camera is (like I wanna know! You’re not suppose to keep reminding us about the camera! Its a movie! Duh!) and Citizen Kane (his name is really Charlie — I didn’t know that was a nickname for Citizen) has a newspaper or something and it goes on and on till I wanted to scream right until the final stunning revelation which gives us a gem of ambiguous insight from a psychological dimension rarely seen in cinema since the early work of Eisenstein. Bye!

- Frieda Frobisher

Related posts:

1. The Hollywood Update
2. Last Words: What the Other Critics Aren’t Saying
3. Watchmen
4. Captain Fonzarelli’s Mandolin
5. Classic Film Noir

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