The Silence of Hannibal

Anthonio Banderas with wife in
Hannibal.

Oh, my, god. Anthonio Banderas is totally hot in this movie. He’s a cereal killer, right, and he lives in Italy. I don’t know why, cause I didn’t see I Know What You Did Last Summer which was the first movie. Oh, my god is he a hottie. (It’s better than seeing Tom Hankses bare tush in “Cast Off” which was another great movie about how Tom Hankses plane crashed so he got naked on the beach. I think that’s totally cool and after I saw it, I don’t know why, but it was just like the Reeces Pieces craving I always get after I watch ET — I just had to go send a bunch of Fed-Exes all over the friggin place.) Anyway, Anthonio Banderas drinks a lot of coffachino in Italy, but he want to come back to america, because Jodie Foster just shot up a pregnint lady and he wants to eat her brains. (Speaking of which, Jodie looks totally hot in this movie — she must of gained about four inches tall, and she got a boob job. Way to go, Jo-Fo!) Jodie wants to sit at her desk and listen to AB’s friggin SEXY-ASS voice talk about slitting her cunt up with a banana saw, but that guy from The Sopranos (I think it’s the same guy) wants her to go to a bunch of meetings so they can show each other badges and stuff. So anyway, then I must of dozed off for a while cause when I woke up it was passed midnight, and there were all these kids falling into a meatgrinder and some nasty music was playing. I think I fell asleep and woke up during Pink Floyd or something. Anyway, I’d half to give this movie forty stars because the guy in the seat next to me gave me a joint and felt up my boobs, and because Ridley Scott shows himself once again a consummate visual stylist and a master of the composed action sequence.

RATING ****************************************

- Alicia Frobisher

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