Juno Meets Hanna Montana
By Alisha Frobisher
So my ABFF-WMRBFFCIGOWTMB (that’s “My Alternate Best Fried Forever – When My
Regular BFF Chutney Is Grounded Or Won’t Text Me Back”) Briony and me went to see
Hanna Montana and her sister Billie Cyrus in that new 3D’s concert movie. It was
OK I mean it was LOUD but theirs some cool stuff backstage and this one time the
drummer throws a drumstick and it totaly comes outta the movie screen and you
think it’s gonna hit you. And later she comes out and dances with some cute boys,
I think their the Joanies Brothers or some shiat, but theyre cute buts are wigglin
all over the place. Then hanna goes away and her sis Billie Rae comes out and shes
good too, they gotta be twins cuz Billie Rae looks just like Hanna cept she’s got
dark hair.
Then the movie totaly gets weird cuz you will never guess what happens. OMG –
Billie Rae gets pregnint! Yeah after the concert shes at home and shes tellin her
boyfriend she peed on the stick and it said DUDE YOU GOT PREGNINT. Like holy
wizz! (And her bf’s got some kinda oxycodone problem cuz hes poppin these little
orange pills thru like the whole flippin movie!) Anyway, Hanna Montana get like
seriusly huger than a flippin house, but then the chick from Alias starts tryin to
kidnap her feetus! Cool! Ba badada badadada DA da! So Hanna says no way, biatch
and she gets in her minnievan and drives around and shiat and puts the moves on
the Alias chicks husbind, but OMG the Alias people grab her and strap her to a
bed and turn on this creepy ass machine so she can see her babys feet! But its OK
cuz Mrs Montana lays the smackdown on the mad scintist biatch and rescues hanna.
I think that Alias lady gets the baby cuz you see her holdin it, but its cool cuz
it turns out hanna didnt
even want no stupid baby. How can she have a baby? Shes gotta do concerts an shiat
and like you kno what happened to Jamie Lynn Spears, so nuff said. Anyways, its a
good movie even if I fell asleep in the middle (but its loooooong, five hours!).
Oh BTW its also a tender and funny coming-of-age tale, featuring a hip,
smart-mouthed and totally endearing heroine, that doesn’t sentimentalize the hard
choices facing today’s youth. Hanna rules, w00t!
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- Every Boring Second of Brad Pitt’s Life Filmed Backwards in Benjamin Button Baloney
- Captain Fonzarelli’s Mandolin
movies are fun and tv is good for avoiding reality sure but nothing beats seeing HANNAH (lern to spell haters) in concert. she has real talent and is not a skank yet like paris or britney. if you live in west virginia or south dakota or somewhere weird then yeah see it at lowes or on tv but otherwise see the real thing. disney knows how to throw a party I should know I live in fullerton right next to disneyland.