Movie 666

Watch out for this guy: Torn panties in Moulin Rouge

So I heard there was this great love story with Nicole Kidman and that guy from Echo and the Bunnymen so I went to see it at this “art theater” and guess what, it was expensive, eleven bucks and the usher dude said I couldn’t get in without letting him fell my boobs, pretty wierd, huh, but I really wanted to see it. Wow, its the awesomest movie ever. See, it’s set in Nazi France and there’s all these guys running around who wanna play in The Sound of Music but they don’t know the words on account of how they havent been ritten yet so the Echo Bunnymen guy writes them and then he goes to this disco called Moulin Rouge (that’s portugese for “mount of venus”) and he sees Nicole who lives in a big elephint and wants to quit so she can be a waitress (why? i mean, if she can live in such a posh elephant, cant she just buy a restaurant?) and they sing a lot, (cool songs I havent heard in a long time like “like a virgin” and some Abba stuff that you hardly ever get to hear except when you go to the supermarket) but the evil duke wants to marry Nicole so he can get pictures of her and Tom Cruise so he buys the Moulin Rouge and wants them to put on a play. So anyway, then there’s a bunch of Japanese guys talking and they go and drop a bunch of bombs on Ben Affleck, but he loves America so he sends them Billy Crystal and they all turn into aliens and surrender. I think. Actually, I think that usher guy drugged my Coke cause when I left the theater it was four days later and my underwear was ripped. Hmmm. Well, all I can say is that once again director Baz Luhrmann proves that with enough visual flair you can fool the Cannes people with even the most emptyheaded crap. Bye!

- Frieda Frobisher

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