Movie 666

By Demon

After hearing complaints for the last five years by fans, critics, and assorted space junkies on how the wire-and-puppet Star Wars series of old is vastly superior to the heartless, digital juggernaut that is the Star Wars series of new, it’s refreshing to see a film of the new series — Revenge of the Sith — that is actually better than at least one film of the old. (article continues after ads)

In fact, I prefer at least two of the new films – Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith – over Return of the Jedi, the weak final chapter of the old series, and second worst film in the Star Wars collection.

And while we’re at it, maybe even Episode I: The Phantom Menace deserves a second look in comparison to Jedi.

I’m just kidding, of course. All persuasions of the Force, both Dark and Light, seem to agree that Episode I shall forever live in infamy.

Nonetheless, after seeing Revenge of the Sith, I was inspired to go back and watch the entire six film series from start to finish (I’m sure I’m not alone here), and put the whole, sprawling thing in perspective. And it seems as if time is indeed the great healer. It had been five years now since I waited in a round-the-block queue looking forward to something akin to Luke and Han but instead found Jar Jar and The Brat. This time through there was none of the initial shock, none of the surprised dismay, none of the unexpected betrayal. I simply watched the new stuff “as is.”

And stunningly, I realized that Jar Jar actually puts in a better performance than some of the characters in Return of the Jedi!

Despite popular claims of the old series having more heart and soul than the new, this really only applies to New Hope and Empire. In Jedi, only Mark Hammil and Billy Dee Williams seem truly excited about playing their roles. Hammil, long supressed by Ben and Yoda alike, finally gets to kick some butt. He lays waste to Jabba’s dungeon pets with the zeal of Lancelot in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Williams, too, seems stoked about his role. In Empire, Lando was busy kissing Vader’s metallic ass in order to save Cloud City from the Empire. In Jedi, Lando stops playing patriarch and starts smoking bad guys. He’s a general in the Rebel Forces, commands the Millennium Falcon, and personally annihilates a new and improved Death Star (even if it is playing sloppy seconds to Luke).

Harrison Ford, on the other hand, is already displaying the signature lethargy that would characterize his Jack Ryan roles. Let’s face it, those Clancy movies would have been much more entertaining with Jar Jar playing America’s favorite CIA analyst-turned-crimebuster than Ford.

Carrie Fisher, too, could use a bit of Jar Jar’s spunk in Return of the Jedi. By the time Chapter VI rolls around, Fisher’s girlish gleam and feisty commands have been replaced with a bored, “here we go again” smirk and a husky growl that suggests she has been smoking menthols instead of Storm Troopers in the five years between films.

Even Darth Vader seems sluggish in this movie. In Empire, Vader had no problem annihilating everyone and everything in his mission to convert Luke to the ways of Evil. Vader tortured Luke’s friends and even lopped off the young lad’s hand in a light saber battle — forcing Luke to replace his sizzled paw with a cheap metal import from a planet completely modeled on China (see deleted scene on the Empire DVD). In Jedi, however, we see a fickle, second-guessing, wishy-washy Vader who has lost his George-Bush-like spirit of flying starships directly into asteroid belts in order to avoid appearing indecisive. The Luke and Vader scenes leading up to the final confrontation with the Emperor are devoid of emotion when they should be the most charged of the entire series. Instead of being truly tempted by the Dark Side (which would have breathed fire into these scenes), Luke has a smugness rivalled only by Grand Moff Tarkin.

None of this goes to say that Jedi is not a relentlessly entertaining movie. But compared to Clones and Sith, it runs a distant third. Both of these newer films have a frantic, impassioned energy about them that Jedi cannot equal — whether in the form of Yoda going Jackie Chan on Count Dooku or Annakin tearing himself to psychological shreds.

No matter. Four-of-six ain’t bad for any sextet, and I’m sure most fans would still set the record at five superior movies with one stinker. The accomplishment of Star Wars is like the Pyramids at Giza: monumental, employing thousands of designers and technicians, and touching the lives of countless millions (most of them commercially). Nevermind a missing brick or two — or one guy that grew up with the old movies, but actually likes some of the new ones better.

Related posts:

1. Space Junk: Star Wars the Experience
2. Star Wars Number Two
3. The Clones that Should Have Been
4. The Future a Long Time Ago: Attack of the Clones
5. Entertaining the Crew of the Death Star

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