Put a Sock in Your Trap! The World’s Shortest Movie Reviews
We admit, even the critics writing on this website can be a little long winded. Not to mention pretentious, elitist, short sighted, impulsive — all right, just don’t say we aren’t open to a little self criticism. Thankfully, we control ourselves here and tell you only what you need to know, in 25 words or less. Call it consumer protection at its best.
 |
America’s Sweethearts |
| (Joe Roth, 2001) John and Jo-Ro give it a go. Zeta-J says no way. Billy’s silly.
— Alicia Frobisher |
 |
A.I. Artificial Intelligence |
| (Steven Spielberg, 2001) Lofty questions. Lost opportunities. Spielberg’s ego run amok. A more respectable homage to Kubrick would have been a documentary.
— Demon |
 |
Brother |
| (Takeshi Kitano, 2001) Unreleased in the U.S., Beat is cold as frozen nails in the trailer. Festival reviews say look for this creepy yakuza film in September. [complete review in next edition]
— Demon |
 |
The Crimson Rivers (Les Rivieres Pourpres) |
| (Mathieu Kassovitz, 2001) How do you say “sell out” en Francais? Director Mathieu Kassovitz. Respectable moody overseas slasher rapidly becomes impossible Hollywood overkill.
— Demon |
 |
Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within |
| (Hironobu Sakaaguchi, 2001) What is the more intriguing summer gaffe? A film that asks if artificial beings can emote or watching Square USA squander $150 million showing that we are still far from constucting ones that display any pathos.
— Matison Moon |
 |
Legally Blonde |
| (Robert Luketic, 2001) Bubbly blonde hottie Reese Witherspoon may be fashion obsessed, but she’s smarter than she looks. A bubbly movie that makes fun of stuffy Bostonian Harvard types that is as much fun as blowing bubbles and painting your toenails pink.
— Dr. Mangrove |
 |
Lord of the Rings (trailer) |
| (Peter Jackson, 2001) You’ll want to kick the hobbit.
— Alicia Frobisher |
 |
The Mummy Returns |
| (Stephen Sommers, 2001) Ghastly by necessity. Production values steal the show: armies of mummies and dog headed men. Story and character forever entombed.
— Demon |
 |
Pearl Harbor |
| (Michael Bay, 2001) Titanic type of movie: 90 minutes of fluff, then a bunch of big budget bombs. The Japanese love the special edit.
— Demon |
 |
Planet of the Apes |
| (Tim Burton, 2001) Marky Mark and the Monkey Bunch.
— Alicia Frobisher |
 |
The Score |
| (Frank Oz, 2001) Three generations of method actors dazzle us during a few suspenseful moments. Unforunately, we have to wade through the other 80% of only slightly above-average drama to get the payoff.
— Matison Moon |
 |
Sexy Beast |
| (Jonathan Glazer, 2000) Extreme? Not quite. Logical? Sort of. Entertaining? Absolutely. Runaway boulders, stray ball sacks, gay gangsters make this worth watching.
— Demon |
 |
Shrek |
| (Andrew Adamson, Victoria Jenson, 2001) Tired of recycled Disney animated garbage? PDI comes to the rescue, parodying Disney from Snow White to Michael Eisner, and lets the Mouse have it.
— Matison Moon |
 |
With a Friend Like Harry |
| (Dominik Moll, 2000) Discovering you have nothing in common with old friends is not necessarily a bad thing, especially when you find out they are murdering lunatics.
— Demon |
Related posts:
- 25 Words or Less: Forgetable Reviews, Memorable Movies?
- 25 Words or Less: Two Dollar and Fifty Cent Reviews
- End the Mindless Commentaries: 25 Words or Less!
- 25 Words or Less: End the Mindless Commentaries
- 25 Words or Less: Bite Sized Reviews
Trackbacks
Leave a Reply